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Tuesday, 4 December 2012

HO HO HO





Who's the most unwelcome person in the office at Christmas?
The elf and safety officer. 


What was the Human Resources manager's worst ever  Christmas? 
The year she had to give Santa the sack.

Did you hear about the employee who stole the office calendar last Christmas? 
She got 12 months.

Did you hear about the store manager who ate the Christmas decorations? 
He got tinsellitis.

Life's four phases:
1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus.

Why was Santa's little helper so sad?
He had low elf esteem.

What do you call Santa's Little Helper when he's been made redundant?
Little.

Drunk: Knock, knock.
Railway ticket clerk: Who's there?
Drunk: Wenceslas
Railway ticket clerk: Wenceslas who?
Drunk: Wenceslas train home ? 

.....and finally, it's not a Christmas one, but I couldn't resist it:

Why don't HR managers stare out of their windows in the mornings?
If they did, they'd have nothing to do in the afternoons.

Boom tish!

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