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Tuesday, 29 October 2013

RETAIL LIMERICKS


From the Limerick Department of the Rolling In The Aisles book:



I was shopping one day in Lidl,
When I felt a deep urge in my middle,
I was bursting to pee,
To have a wee-wee,
So I rushed to the loo for a piddle.

In a Waitrose café, sits a pelican,
Whose mouth can hold more than his belly can,
I swear his huge beak
Can store food for a week,
It’s a puzzle to know how the hell he can.

In Sainsbury’s, a young girl called Perkins
Had a yearning to keep eating gherkins,
So for afternoon tea,
She consumed eighty-three
And pickled her internal workin’s.

There was a shop manager called Tony,
Who was fat and fond of baloney,
A bit of a gannet,
He looked like a planet,
And would never be skinny and bony.

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